Longing

Matthew 14:22-23 NIV

Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone,

I enjoy my quiet time with jesus.  Thank you Lord for putting that desire on my heart so many years ago. 

Todays dare is to simply long for Jesus.  To invite him in to call my spirit. 

Lord today I will admit that you are so faithful! You always place sparks of hope in you, into my heart.  father I have never experienced the gift of tongues and ask that you allow me to experience that... I know it is for me and not for you.  I dont want to be like the disciples , always doubting and wanting more.  

I also lift up my husband.  I still dont understand why we dont communicate.  I dont understand why he wouldnt tell ME that he is not going to persue Petaluma, but I thank you for changing his heart.  Lord, please change mine for him.  I desire to live him as no other.  I dont feel loved by him. But I also know YOU will never abandon me.  Show me ways to bless him regatdless of how I feel about him.

Letter to me

1 Peter 3:1-6 NIV

Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

Dearest self ,

Today is a beautiful day.  You are dressed in white, it is your day to shine.   You are about to take off on a journey that is going to be incredible!   If you plan on coming out on the other end, then you need to stay focused on me.  Youre identity is not in being Craig Lackeys wife.   I know most of your identity is in being a mom....but that isnt WHO you are either.  Your children will dissapoint you.  Give them to me and remember that I love them more than you do.  You love your job, but it is not who you are either.  You have big dreams.  Dreams that I put on your heart!  Dreams that I am currently in the process of making come true.  Trust me.  Abide in me...in all things.   

Craig is a man after my own heart, nut like King David, he is just a man.  Forgive him as I have forgiven you. I know you think that your past is what has defind who you are and how you respond to emotional issues, but everything you have gone through and will go through has been filtered through my hands first. NOTHING is wasted ehen you submit first to me and then to your husband.  Its ok if he doesnt always think you are submissive.  I know your hard stubborn heart.    He does not get to judge you.  I am not going to judge you, because my blood has washed you clean.   Continue in me.   I am changing you day by day.  I have heard your prayers to have a quiet and gentle spirit.  

When craig dissapoints you, forgive him, knowing he has baggage too.  Seek first to understand his needs..... but dont feel you have to talk about everything....   love him even when you dont like him.  He also has secrets that will hurt you when you find out.  But this too is something to help you grow.   Be kind always.... but you dont have to be a door mat.  Let your yes be yes and your no be no.  If you say you are going to do something then try to do itm. Understand your husband has great intentions, but the way he is created is not the way you are and he will frustraye you.  Love him anyway.  Gix what you can so he doesnt have to worry about things.  You are smart and independent use that to be a helpmate to your husband not as a weapon.

In all things, love him.  The greatest of these is love.  Love is an action word......love by your actions.

R.e.s.p.e.c.t

Ephesians 5:33 NIV

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Today's lesson talks about publicly making fun of your spouse.  This is bad something I'll need to watch.  We tease each other often  I don't remember feeling unloved in his teasing.  I used to with ray, all of the time.  I hope I don't make craig feel disrespected.  I'm learning to say less and less...

The underware

Craigs love language seems to be physical touch and acts of service.  Physical touch because that is what he likes to give the most.    Touching me as I walk by.... acts of service.... trying to fix things....  I'm not even sure I know what mine are any more. 

The things I can do this week. ... I still need to write notes..... I can make an effort to hug him for a few minutes before I leave.   Sit on his lap when he comes home....give long hugs in the evening. 

This morning....cuddle....
One day when he is off ...sit on his lap
Hug him in the afternoon

This is no that hard.  I don't have to talk.

He'll notice he just probably won't respond.     I will pray before and during,  that God give me peace.

Get organized

1 Corinthians 14:33 NIV

For God is not a God of disorder but of peace—as in all the congregations of the Lord’s people.

17 minutes to plan
20 minutes per day to do.

Baskets help organize but get muddled up.  Use some extra ones in laundry room for specific items

Bedroom
Clothes should be given away
Can do one drawer at a time
Clean under bed
Clean floor boards

Entry way
Floor boards
Box on shelf....do we need it all?
Under fish tank

Living room
Floor boards
Box by me
Table tops
Probably leave Craigs brown one alone

Den
Get rid of clothes
Organize closet
Clean out boxes

Bathroom
Get rid of old shampoo
Clean and organize boxes

Kitchen
Cabinets all of them

Laundry room
Clean pantry organize other shelves use boxes and label
  Tools
   Laundry
Other

Would like to sheet rock and paint remove the old cabinet _install dishwahser?  Put in a utility sink .. long term goal remove all cabinets and replace with nice white lowes cabinets 

Gentle answer

Proverbs 15:1 NIV

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Loving communication is gentle, honest, and without malice or anger.  When wives get the respect peice right and are more discerning about what they say, their husbands hear them note clearly.

I have always thought i was a good listener, but I've caught myself talking more and even interrupting during not important conversations.  

I am not very good at empathic listening. 
I need to really work on empathic listening. Seeking to understand.  

Sweet words

Proverbs 16:24 NIV

Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

The book says to check in with your husband if you want to know how you are doing.  But, I either won't believe him, or he won't be open.

5 things my husband does every week...
A strength for that activity
What the strength means to me
Write a note.
NO EXPECTATIONS

1. Goes to work - he wants to provide.
Provider....

2. Fills up the water tanks.

3. Cares for his mom.  Integrity

4. Makes the bed

5. Does his own laundry.

Perseverance
Faithful
Confidence
Leadership
Tenderness

Integrity 4/7
Psalm 78:72 NIV
And David shepherded them with integrity of heart; with skillful hands he led them.

Provider