Persecution

What to do when others talk badly about you?

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor       and hate your enemy.’    But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,    that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.    If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?    And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?    Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.


Interesting - because just last week I had this conversation with a 5th grader...it's hard... but it's outside of our circle of control.

Chores of love

Proverbs 31:27 NIV

She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

1.the chore I put off is at the moment ...taxes..... kitchen remodel....working in the orchard. 

Lord, I believe I am diligent, please show me where I spend too much time doing unimportant and non urgent things.  Please order my day 

Leftovers

Proverbs 31:26 NIV

She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

NASB....kindness is on her tongue.....

Phil 4:8

Philippians 4:8 NIV

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

1. 3 accomplishments,  Valley Life Charter school, master's degree, marrying again
2. God was incredibly involved in marrying again and Valley life.   The first time I prayed, asking God how long it would be before I could tell Craig that I loved him, within 5 minutes, he told me!  But the one that I knew God was involved in was vlcs....
3. During the last year at vcis and the writing of the charter along with the first year of opening, God used Craig to support me.  He also gave so many signs and opened doors just at the right moment.  He still opens doors. 
4. I dont have to believe the lies people say about me.  I don't have to believe the lies I say about myself.  I trusted in Him.
5. God can take any situation and make it something incredible.  He is the author of life.  God desires goodness and mercy for us. 
6. God can do anything through anyone.  The accomplishments of Valley Life are all HIS
7.  I get frustrated because I don't see growth at each turn.  I don't really see my husband growing in the Lord.  I want to grow with him.

Pay an honest compliment before offering constructive feedback. 

We can also see how inaccurate our perceptions are.  Build others up instead of tearing them down, all the while saying what needs to be said  and  that motivates and will be heard.

Simply pray to see life through the lense of the Holy spirit.  Lord please fill me with your spirit that I would have the ability to see what is true, what is noble, right ,pure ,lovely , admirable , excellent, or praiseworthy in every situation especially those that cause you to be angry hurt or irritated     in Jesus strength amen.

Good advice

Luke 6:37 NIV

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

1. I think craig confides in me often.  He is so unlike most men, in that he has a lot of words. 
2. He doesn't really tell me about situations he needs help on.  He reports on incidents.  I mostly listen.
3. I don't think I give a lot of advise.  Occassionally a word of caution about something he may say about kids. 
4. I dont use accusatory words. 
5.  I think my husband would want me 5 talk and interact more.

He thinks I withdraw because I am over stressed at work, but it's really more that I feel he is critical of me.  He tells me often what I should and shouldn't do. 

Do I yearn for emotional intimacy or do I push him away because I am afraid?  I already feel unworthy and not enough.  If he is closer to me..will he judge all of my flaws?  Has he already?

Many times people just want to be heard, not fixed or offered advise.  We think we are helping but what we are communicating is an attitude of superiority over the other person....

Resist the temptation to offer advise.  Evaluate the situation, asking if he or she wants to talk.

Ask your husband if he considers you a safe person to talk to about hos challenges.  If he indicates you could be better ask him how you can improve. 

What happens when we are sad

Lord, I am struggling with my marrauge.  I am struggling with self worth.  Maybe not self worth, but not being  enough for craig.  But, I am drawing closer to you.  Thank you for comforting me and loving me. 

Enough
Good enough
Virtuous enough
Sexual enough
Nice enough
Pretty enough
Kind

Remember

PHil 1:9-11 That your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment, that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ, being filled with the fruits of righteousness which are by Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God. 

Bottom Line:  Wisdom comes from seeing the truth in the big picture and not allowing your perceptions to be clouded by life's daily challenges.


1. What five positive attributes were reason to marry your husband?

• Integrity
• Sense of humor
• Kindness
• Servant Heart
• Loved the Lord

2.  These were important, because I know that a relationship can not work without God in the midst of it.  I love to laugh....Even Sunday - having Craig laugh at my story telling was so refreshing....
3.  Lord - please show me that my husband still has these strengths.  I am suspicious and disillusioned, because my gut was telling me something - and I'm finding it to be at least partially true...
4.  I don't communicate about his strengths often.  I rarely praise him
5. I think that reminding him of his strengths would help him to respond more positively to me.  I get impatient though.  Yesterday was such a great day at work - and then I started wondering about pages....  Lord, help us communicate from the heart.... I don't want to lose my husband....

Suspicious

I've been feeling suspicious of craig lately.  Now I just feel sick to my stomach.   I looked at his computer history and compared it to my blog..   2.1 I wrote about our fight....

July 16th..same thing

Unwholesome talk

Ephesians 4:29 NIV

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

I can apply this to all areas of my life. 

I have only been sharing how I feel about issues with Melissa....  lord, I want a guard over my mouth....

I think I'm doing ok.  I don't think he feels the same.   Everything I say is disrespectful.  I'm not sure I can make it through this marraige, let alone a 40 day dare.   Father, once again I give everything to you.  My children, you know my heart.... my husband....and our relationship.....Valley life...... The ranch.   I need emotional strength that can only come from you.  But I also need peace and joy...

I think I tease him.... but it's not mean

I will work up the courage to ask.

Grumbling

Philippians 2:14 NIV

Do everything without grumbling or arguing,

Lord, my emotional bank account is low.  At work and home.  I know that I can be aggressive.  Father, I desire your spirit in order that I can shine bright for you.  I give myself to you.  You have created me to love and serve.  Father, I desire to be loved and appreciated as well.  Lord, you were not loved and appreciated, even though you lay down your life.  Thank you Jesus for laying down your life for me. 

Some practical ways to help craig.. Lord show me how I can joyfully serve my husband and my staff.  I have been hoping he would show me love as well, by leaving little notes, bringing flowers..... but he isn't in that place.   Lord, give me energy tomorrow to go out and pick up branches so he doesn't have too. 

Thank you father for putting on my heart to serve you..not men.

Me and my big mouth 20140320

James 1:19 NIV

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,

I desire to be this person.  At home and at work.   Our most recent argument strted with craig comin in and being angry about finances.  I was hurt that he was willing to cancel our anniversary trip.  That no matter how I explained the check issue, henstill treated me as though it was my fault.  As the day drew closer, I was more distant and hurt.  craig changed his mind and thought we could go.  I felt if he wanted to go he needed to make it happen.  He said he had no idea how to make it happen, so I pointed out the certificate and told him the information was all there.   He didnt do it and by saturday, the room was unavailable.  He never said happy anniversary, didnt even give me a card.   I was heart broken, and still am.   I didnt yell or through a fit. I am seeking to understand... but am also frustrated.  I have asked questions, vs arguing, but I still feel like he thinks im being disrespectful.

Lord, please show me what to do here.  Not just at home, but in everything.  I am frustrated with parents at work.... frustrated with some staff.... frustrated with craig.  I am actually concerned that craig may becoming emotionally involved with someone, though I dont know who.  Jesus there are so many things demanded of me that I really dont know what to do sometimes.  Everyone has an opinion about what I should do.  

Thank you for your word Father.  Consider it pure joy my brothers and sisters whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and not lacking in anything.  If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, eho gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

My vision 3.19

22% through The Respect Dare: 40 Days to a Deeper Connection with God and Your Husband by Roesner, Nina on Kindle for Android! http://www.amazon.com/kindleforandroid/

Respect Dare, Day 4

I will think about whatever is true, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatevernis admirable, if anything is excellent, when Craig does something, even a small act of kindness, I will praise both God and my husband, and think about these things.  (Phil4:8)

IAM A wife of noble character.  I am worth far more than rubies.  Craig has full confidence in me, and he lacks nothing of value.  I bring my family good, not harm.  I select clothing, and work to make my school and my home a place that glorifies the Lord, with eager hands and heart.  My lamp does not go out at night.  I am diligent to complete what needs to be completed, and I still have energy to spend quality time with my husband.  I look forward to spending my time with him, and dont refuse him. I am clothed with strength and dignity and I laugh at the days to come. I speak wisdom and faithful instruction.  I am kind and control my tongue.  I do not eat the bread of idleness. My husband has eyes only for me.  He praises me, and I believe him.  I am a wife of noble character.   I build him up through prayer and communication.  I support him in love.  I am a fun wife, that he looks forward to spending time with. 

Personal assessment

Day 3
Do I spend my time in prayer?   3..could be better

Do I read the bible frequently....4. Try to daily

Do I make daily decisions based on what I think would please God?  My self gets in the way, but I try to make decisions that will not displease him.

Is my heart filled with gratitude?   No, definitely lacking here.    Jesus, fill me with your spirit of peace and joy.  Thank you for loving me.  I desire to please you..... and to have a thankful heart.

Do I live my life for God or am I more concerned with what others think?  I am more concerned what others think when I am feeling unfairly judges. 

Am I more concerned about being holy or happy? I want to be both.  I am more concerned with hapoiness, but I know that I can carry my weather with me.  Jesus help me do that practically as I return to work today. 

Household management...I am comfortable in my management skills.

Without typing all of the questions out, I am sure I am not an effective communucator.  I do not often really seek to undrrstand.  I seek to listen to interpret.  Lord, I don't know how to be gentle in this.  I want someone to seek to understand me too.  Please show me how to be concise but nice...how to listen without judging...speak the language of respect to craig....handle is agreements while getting my message across...and not alienating Craig.  Lose the criticalness.  Jesus, I want to be gentle as a dove yet wise as a servant in all that I do.

Confident
Just my position makes me appear confident but I know inside me...I am not.  I believe I am considered to be aggressive.  I don't always have the courage to do what God wants me to do, but... He does amazing things anyway. I desire a spirit of love power and self discipline.
I desire to be your graceful grateful servant.... and Craigs loving graceful grateful wife.

This survey is hard because I am hard on myself.  I don't think I have a God view of who I am.  

The 2 I most desire is to live by the power of His spirit in love and self discipline...and to be known as a graveful...grateful woman. 

Lord jesus, please grow me in these areas...not just for Craigs sake but for the kingdoms sake.  Thank you jesus for loving me even when I am not being kind.  Thank you for your gentle Ness that calls us to you..calls us to improve.  

Help me

Lord, help me with the intent to seek to understand not just to be understood. 

Respect dare day 2

Death

Today, I feel like my marraige has died.   I am not umworthy, I am redeemed.  However, I have committed 5o being Craigs wife.  Although he doesnt seem to desire to understand me..and its all my fault.  I committed to him.  Jesus, 9lease resurrect our marraige or give me peace about our relati8nship

Respect dare day1

2 Timothy 1:7 NIV

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.

Father, as I sit here, he is in the shower.  We should have left for church 9 minutes ago.   Is it unrealistic for me to desire to be on time?  I feel as though he doesn't care.  I don't want to nag at him.  What is better? To say nothing and just be late all the time?  That frustrates me.  Keep the peace or go alone?  take 2 cars?  Lord, how do I approach this?  Part of it is my hope that he wants to do something later.  Now if we go to church well miss all of the worship.  If we wait, it will be late and we won't have time to do anything...like maybe go on a hike. 

But I also told him I wanted to finish the bathroom today so he wouldn't come up with alternative plans.  Going to the late service will be ok.  

Why doesn't he say he wants to go to the late service if that is what he wanted.  Instead of making us late. 

  

Effective vs ineffectiveness

http://bible.com/111/MAT13.22.NIV The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful. But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it. This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.” Bible.com/app

So often I feel innefective.   I can feel a lot of negativity.  As though no one appreciates me or what I do.  By no one I mean....my family, husband, some of my staff,any of the parents.    But, that is the enemy.   The cares and worries of this world are deceitful.   They choke out the small mustard seed of faith I have and make me be inneffective.   When was the last time I allowed my heart to be a place of good soil....where the word can continue to grow in me?   There will always be cares in this world but to be effective.... I need to nurture the goose.....

Our leadership team has not been.   

Daily musings

http://bible.com/111/MAT13.22.NIV The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful. Bible.com/app

I have always thought that this means they heard the word, accepted it, but then it died.  (Lost their faith )

What I am seeing today isn't that they lost their faith, they just allow so much to get in the way of what they believe..  
How often I am the one who let's the world choke me and make me ineffective.