Proverbs 21:9 NIV
Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
What does Craig ask me to do that I dont feel is always priductive? Giing to Friant with him is one. So although I feel like my time would be better spent elsewhere, next time he asks, I will go.
Lord please give me peace about this. ��
So much has changed in me aince I was a teen.i love Jesus for one. I was miserable, a thief, a drunkard, dishonest. Ray told me that accepting Jesus was a fad. I would outgrow it. Thank you Jesus that your spirit remains in me
I believe in my heart my husband is a good man who loves Jesus also. I see him more clearly or through trained lenses than when we first married. Sometimes I think he forgets Gods power to change others and is cynical.
In my position (even if my position was a stay at home mom) I need to take more time recofnizing change in others. Not just craig but in my kids and co workers.
I should encourage others. I dont always take the time.because we shouldnallnstrive to do our best but.... everyine needs encouragement.
Changes ive seen in craig .....he gave up the idea of having a job in petaluma! Thank you Lord! He is kinder to me again.
Lord, please show me things you see in people. ...ways to encourage others. Thank you for your spirit which encourages me
Galatians 6:2 NIV
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
There have been a few times I've had troubles. The biggest one was when I was fired from VLCS.
I went to Craig. did we pray together? I dont recall.
We have had serious struggles. I feel we are in one now.
Top 3
Me losing my job
Craig getting valley fever
Craigs dad dying
I think we grew closer together ....except for when sam died. He seemed to push me away a bit.
I think we cling to God separately
I want more of God together. Im not sure where Craigs faith is.
I asked craig what submission looked like in his eyes, last night at dinner.he didnt want to answer, because he wanted us to have a good night.
I still want to know....
Yesterdays dare was seeking first to understand. Craig and I really do communicate backwards. I asked him what time he would be home on Wednesday. He told me that the class was 2 hours long, but, chad from work called him and....... went into a story about how nurses receive. .incident, bit that wasnt the word..... ....and what they wanted him to do. I was able to say.... so what I am hearing is.... and kind of repeated him... so youll be home around......
He is so well respected at work... I wonder if he feels inrespect him. I wonder if he feels I even care....
Am I submissive?
I think so. Craig does not. I am independent and assertive. In reading "Have a new.husband by Friday", Dr. LEHMAN said that you should tell your husband what you need and when you need it by. Let him respond. Dont nag. If he doesnt do it, cheerfully get it done. (Do it yourself or hire it out) so, does being submissive mean I should have waited for the kitchen to be remodeled? We both knew it needed to be done. Wed even bought a lot of the stuff together. Ive been waiting 2 years. Even he likes it..... but he is upset with me. Is he upset because I did it? He did say more than once that he would like me to wait. But for how long?
2. I don't know if I trust craig to do what he says hell do. He doesnt have follow through in so many areas. it isnt that I dont trust him to do a good job, because he does a.fantastic job when he does something. But, like the kitchen, if I waited for him, it would never be remodeled. He rarely cleans or cooks and I think the ickiness of what it looked like is part of it. He also has so many projects at once that he doesnt get to everything. I dont think not getting to things that are important to me is done in spite, I truly believe its the ADD.
There are a lot if worst case scenarios.
I think that I need to show respect and submission by the way I speak to and about my husband. So no gloating about the kitchen. No making fun of him. I need to tell him my needs and then let them go or take care of them myself. Woman in the bible did. Nables wife...queen esther.sarah rebecca.... they all influenced their husband and took care of business when needed.
Lord jesus I know that this is where I struggle. I do desire to be a good wife. I am not sure I am capable of being a good wife though. Please speak to me and show me where I can give the reins to Craig. Fixing the kitchen is not something his mom would have done. Helo him understand and helo me also Lord.
Lord, I desire to trust craig to lead me. Where shall I even begin?
Matthew 14:22-23 NIV
Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone,
I enjoy my quiet time with jesus. Thank you Lord for putting that desire on my heart so many years ago.
Todays dare is to simply long for Jesus. To invite him in to call my spirit.
Lord today I will admit that you are so faithful! You always place sparks of hope in you, into my heart. father I have never experienced the gift of tongues and ask that you allow me to experience that... I know it is for me and not for you. I dont want to be like the disciples , always doubting and wanting more.
I also lift up my husband. I still dont understand why we dont communicate. I dont understand why he wouldnt tell ME that he is not going to persue Petaluma, but I thank you for changing his heart. Lord, please change mine for him. I desire to live him as no other. I dont feel loved by him. But I also know YOU will never abandon me. Show me ways to bless him regatdless of how I feel about him.
1 Peter 3:1-6 NIV
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
Dearest self ,
Today is a beautiful day. You are dressed in white, it is your day to shine. You are about to take off on a journey that is going to be incredible! If you plan on coming out on the other end, then you need to stay focused on me. Youre identity is not in being Craig Lackeys wife. I know most of your identity is in being a mom....but that isnt WHO you are either. Your children will dissapoint you. Give them to me and remember that I love them more than you do. You love your job, but it is not who you are either. You have big dreams. Dreams that I put on your heart! Dreams that I am currently in the process of making come true. Trust me. Abide in me...in all things.
Craig is a man after my own heart, nut like King David, he is just a man. Forgive him as I have forgiven you. I know you think that your past is what has defind who you are and how you respond to emotional issues, but everything you have gone through and will go through has been filtered through my hands first. NOTHING is wasted ehen you submit first to me and then to your husband. Its ok if he doesnt always think you are submissive. I know your hard stubborn heart. He does not get to judge you. I am not going to judge you, because my blood has washed you clean. Continue in me. I am changing you day by day. I have heard your prayers to have a quiet and gentle spirit.
When craig dissapoints you, forgive him, knowing he has baggage too. Seek first to understand his needs..... but dont feel you have to talk about everything.... love him even when you dont like him. He also has secrets that will hurt you when you find out. But this too is something to help you grow. Be kind always.... but you dont have to be a door mat. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. If you say you are going to do something then try to do itm. Understand your husband has great intentions, but the way he is created is not the way you are and he will frustraye you. Love him anyway. Gix what you can so he doesnt have to worry about things. You are smart and independent use that to be a helpmate to your husband not as a weapon.
In all things, love him. The greatest of these is love. Love is an action word......love by your actions.
Ephesians 5:33 NIV
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Today's lesson talks about publicly making fun of your spouse. This is bad something I'll need to watch. We tease each other often I don't remember feeling unloved in his teasing. I used to with ray, all of the time. I hope I don't make craig feel disrespected. I'm learning to say less and less...
Craigs love language seems to be physical touch and acts of service. Physical touch because that is what he likes to give the most. Touching me as I walk by.... acts of service.... trying to fix things.... I'm not even sure I know what mine are any more.
The things I can do this week. ... I still need to write notes..... I can make an effort to hug him for a few minutes before I leave. Sit on his lap when he comes home....give long hugs in the evening.
This morning....cuddle....
One day when he is off ...sit on his lap
Hug him in the afternoon
This is no that hard. I don't have to talk.
He'll notice he just probably won't respond. I will pray before and during, that God give me peace.
1 Corinthians 14:33 NIV
For God is not a God of disorder but of peace—as in all the congregations of the Lord’s people.
17 minutes to plan
20 minutes per day to do.
Baskets help organize but get muddled up. Use some extra ones in laundry room for specific items
Bedroom
Clothes should be given away
Can do one drawer at a time
Clean under bed
Clean floor boards
Entry way
Floor boards
Box on shelf....do we need it all?
Under fish tank
Living room
Floor boards
Box by me
Table tops
Probably leave Craigs brown one alone
Den
Get rid of clothes
Organize closet
Clean out boxes
Bathroom
Get rid of old shampoo
Clean and organize boxes
Kitchen
Cabinets all of them
Laundry room
Clean pantry organize other shelves use boxes and label
Tools
Laundry
Other
Would like to sheet rock and paint remove the old cabinet _install dishwahser? Put in a utility sink .. long term goal remove all cabinets and replace with nice white lowes cabinets
Proverbs 15:1 NIV
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Loving communication is gentle, honest, and without malice or anger. When wives get the respect peice right and are more discerning about what they say, their husbands hear them note clearly.
I have always thought i was a good listener, but I've caught myself talking more and even interrupting during not important conversations.
I am not very good at empathic listening.
I need to really work on empathic listening. Seeking to understand.
Proverbs 16:24 NIV
Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
The book says to check in with your husband if you want to know how you are doing. But, I either won't believe him, or he won't be open.
5 things my husband does every week...
A strength for that activity
What the strength means to me
Write a note.
NO EXPECTATIONS
1. Goes to work - he wants to provide.
Provider....
2. Fills up the water tanks.
3. Cares for his mom. Integrity
4. Makes the bed
5. Does his own laundry.
Perseverance
Faithful
Confidence
Leadership
Tenderness
Integrity 4/7
Psalm 78:72 NIV
And David shepherded them with integrity of heart; with skillful hands he led them.
Provider
Ephesians 4:29 NIV
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Today's dare is to speak life.... to everyone in my life. Then I need to record what happened later. Oy!
I didnt do very well. At least not with sarcsm and my annoyance with Kim. I also didnt do well with craig. He brought flowers.... but I am hurt by his desire to leave. I dont know what to do. Other than to share, just one time how I feel. Its odd... I hurt overhim moving to peteluma...but at the same time I crave his love and approval..... but I am cold. Lord, please help me!
Ephesians 4:29 NIV
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Today's dare is to speak life.... to everyone in my life. Then I need to record what happened later. Oy!
Hebrews 13:4-5 NIV
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”
I never realized that the first part of this section is about husband and wives.
1. I don't generally find myself envious. I would like a pretty house (or maybe just a functional house) where I can invite people over. I love the property but not having real running water...Real septic and a decent kitchen can be frustrating. Craig talks about how he always took care of the fresno house...but he doesn't do anything here. I don't fully trust him to finish projects. I do believe that when I share my frustration he feels I am not being respectful but when I ask how I can do that respectfully he won't answer. Father forgive me for being disrespectful in how I share. Help us...show us...lead us by your spirit to communicate.
2. I don't put pressure on him. He puts enough on himself. He is currently trying to get a job in peteluma.
3. I agree. Lord use us and this property to your glory
4 I do trust God. Sometimes I get impatient, but mainly it's a communication issue with craig and I.
5. The property really isn't ours. It is Gods! God can use it and our time here to bless Tony and Lisa...Instead of just taking advantage of us.
Lord, although I am not perfect or even close, I am more content with money. How do I help my husband? (YOU dont...be still, love him and let God work on his heart)
Exodus 14:14 NIV
The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
This means in my marraige too!
John 16:20-33 NIV
Very truly I tell you, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy. A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy. In that day you will no longer ask me anything. Very truly I tell you, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete. “Though I have been speaking figuratively, a time is coming when I will no longer use this kind of language but will tell you plainly about my Father. In that day you will ask in my name. I am not saying that I will ask the Father on your behalf. No, the Father himself loves you because you have loved me and have believed that I came from God. I came from the Father and entered the world; now I am leaving the world and going back to the Father.” Then Jesus’ disciples said, “Now you are speaking clearly and without figures of speech. Now we can see that you know all things and that you do not even need to have anyone ask you questions. This makes us believe that you came from God.” “Do you now believe?” Jesus replied. “A time is coming and in fact has come when you will be scattered, each to your own home. You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me. “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
Proverbs 31:12 NIV
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
Have I treated Craig like a child? Definitely. Lord jesus, I don't want to treat him with disrespect. Please show me what I need to change. Sharon never treated John inferior.....I don't recall her treating my dad like that either. Kathie is respectful as well. My mom wasnt.
8 things to make my husband feel like a man....
Sincerely thank him... for providing....getting water..... (can do that this morning)
Initiate love making....
Let him open the door
Don't scold him
Be kind
Don't put him on facebook...He feels it's all disrespectful.
Talk to him
Don't expect anything in return... father, how can I keep going without appreciation? I haven't been feeling loved.... let alone appreciated.
When you experience resentment or disappointment due to your husband's reaction or lack of reaction consider those feelings cues of expectations for you. Choose in those moments to change your attitude, loving without expectation as God did through Jesus.
