My time with God - today

A Love Relationship with God - AnGeL Ministries - Anne Graham Lotz

1 John 4:4-19 NIV

You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. They are from the world and therefore speak from the viewpoint of the world, and the world listens to them. We are from God, and whoever knows God listens to us; but whoever is not from God does not listen to us. This is how we recognize the Spirit of truth and the spirit of falsehood.7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us.

As I read this God spoke to me .  there are many people who love Jesus, and will be with us in eternity, yet they have not been cultivating that love while here on earth.  I have been praying that God would give me a desire for my husband.  I love him. But don't always want to cultivate that relationship.  Just lime when I am not up to spending time in the word.  I do but it is more rote, than from a desire to be with Him. 

I remember when Craig and I started dating.  How I so looked forward to seeing him and being with him. When we were apart, I longed for him.  I want that back, for both my Father in heaven, and for my husband.  

Maybe its not as strong for my husband because we keep our spiritual lives separate.  At one time we prayed together.  We no longer do. 

We also don't serve together which was something we both said we wanted.

Prayer is the start.  Months ago - even years ago I brought up a budget.  He didn't want a budget because we wouldn't be able to do what we wanted because money is budgeted.  However, we found we can't do it anyway, because its not there.  This week, without prodding, see set up a budget.   Thank you Lord, that even though my feelings were hurt, we did it.   - you even sent me a word later, regarding perspective.   Thank you Jesus for loving me.  Please draw my heart back to you and serving you, and to love my husband in more than words.