Personal assessment

Day 3
Do I spend my time in prayer?   3..could be better

Do I read the bible frequently....4. Try to daily

Do I make daily decisions based on what I think would please God?  My self gets in the way, but I try to make decisions that will not displease him.

Is my heart filled with gratitude?   No, definitely lacking here.    Jesus, fill me with your spirit of peace and joy.  Thank you for loving me.  I desire to please you..... and to have a thankful heart.

Do I live my life for God or am I more concerned with what others think?  I am more concerned what others think when I am feeling unfairly judges. 

Am I more concerned about being holy or happy? I want to be both.  I am more concerned with hapoiness, but I know that I can carry my weather with me.  Jesus help me do that practically as I return to work today. 

Household management...I am comfortable in my management skills.

Without typing all of the questions out, I am sure I am not an effective communucator.  I do not often really seek to undrrstand.  I seek to listen to interpret.  Lord, I don't know how to be gentle in this.  I want someone to seek to understand me too.  Please show me how to be concise but nice...how to listen without judging...speak the language of respect to craig....handle is agreements while getting my message across...and not alienating Craig.  Lose the criticalness.  Jesus, I want to be gentle as a dove yet wise as a servant in all that I do.

Confident
Just my position makes me appear confident but I know inside me...I am not.  I believe I am considered to be aggressive.  I don't always have the courage to do what God wants me to do, but... He does amazing things anyway. I desire a spirit of love power and self discipline.
I desire to be your graceful grateful servant.... and Craigs loving graceful grateful wife.

This survey is hard because I am hard on myself.  I don't think I have a God view of who I am.  

The 2 I most desire is to live by the power of His spirit in love and self discipline...and to be known as a graveful...grateful woman. 

Lord jesus, please grow me in these areas...not just for Craigs sake but for the kingdoms sake.  Thank you jesus for loving me even when I am not being kind.  Thank you for your gentle Ness that calls us to you..calls us to improve.  

Help me

Lord, help me with the intent to seek to understand not just to be understood. 

Respect dare day 2

Death

Today, I feel like my marraige has died.   I am not umworthy, I am redeemed.  However, I have committed 5o being Craigs wife.  Although he doesnt seem to desire to understand me..and its all my fault.  I committed to him.  Jesus, 9lease resurrect our marraige or give me peace about our relati8nship

Respect dare day1

2 Timothy 1:7 NIV

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.

Father, as I sit here, he is in the shower.  We should have left for church 9 minutes ago.   Is it unrealistic for me to desire to be on time?  I feel as though he doesn't care.  I don't want to nag at him.  What is better? To say nothing and just be late all the time?  That frustrates me.  Keep the peace or go alone?  take 2 cars?  Lord, how do I approach this?  Part of it is my hope that he wants to do something later.  Now if we go to church well miss all of the worship.  If we wait, it will be late and we won't have time to do anything...like maybe go on a hike. 

But I also told him I wanted to finish the bathroom today so he wouldn't come up with alternative plans.  Going to the late service will be ok.  

Why doesn't he say he wants to go to the late service if that is what he wanted.  Instead of making us late. 

  

Effective vs ineffectiveness

http://bible.com/111/MAT13.22.NIV The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful. But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it. This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.” Bible.com/app

So often I feel innefective.   I can feel a lot of negativity.  As though no one appreciates me or what I do.  By no one I mean....my family, husband, some of my staff,any of the parents.    But, that is the enemy.   The cares and worries of this world are deceitful.   They choke out the small mustard seed of faith I have and make me be inneffective.   When was the last time I allowed my heart to be a place of good soil....where the word can continue to grow in me?   There will always be cares in this world but to be effective.... I need to nurture the goose.....

Our leadership team has not been.   

Daily musings

http://bible.com/111/MAT13.22.NIV The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful. Bible.com/app

I have always thought that this means they heard the word, accepted it, but then it died.  (Lost their faith )

What I am seeing today isn't that they lost their faith, they just allow so much to get in the way of what they believe..  
How often I am the one who let's the world choke me and make me ineffective.